Not-So-Top Chef

I just got to work, and I probably shouldn't be doing this, but it's a slow day, and I figured I could bang out a couple of hundred words on the finale of "Top Chef" because it was so infuriating.

***SPOILER ALERT--If you have yet to watch the finale of "Top Chef" and don't want to know who won, stop reading***

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a big fan of Hosea. Seriously, he was so whiny when it came to Stefan, and I got so tired of him saying, "you know, I really like my food with a lot of flavor. Flavor is my thing." No shit, you're a chef. Flavor is the fucking point.

Hosea started the season strong, but he sort of slipped through the cracks over the final six episodes or so, and I lost respect for him when he, the self-identified fish expert, botched the fish challenge. If I recall correctly, the only reason he wasn't eliminated that day is because it was a team challenge, and his team won (no thanks to him). To me, Hosea is one of those guys who on the surface appears to be a really nice guy. But as the season progressed, it seemed more and more like he was one of those guys who looks like he is really chill, but is actually a self-involved douche. Stefan is clearly a douche, but there is no pretense there. He knows it, and he doesn't care if you know it too. And once it was obvious that Carla (who is clearly more likeable than both of the guys) was not going to win, I found myself rooting for Stefan.

But even though I don't like Hosea, he deserved to win last night based on the format. It's just that the format was stupid.

All I really learned about Hosea last night is that he is really good and randomly selecting knives and pieces of king cake, because it was those two events that led to his victory. Any "Top Chef" connoisseur knows that Richard is an amazing chef, and from what I saw he was a level above any of the chefs from this season. So when Hosea got first choice of sous chefs, it was obvious he was going to pick Richard and gain a huge advantage. And sure enough, the sous chefs played a major role as Casey, Carla's sous chef, cost her any shot at the title, though I realize Carla needs to take the blame for listening to all of Casey's dumb suggestions. Seriously Carla, what were you thinking? You had so much mojo going into the final episode, yet you let this former "Top Chef" runner-up talk you into going out of your comfort zone. As soon as she said, "well, I'm never done this technique before, but OK!" I knew it was going to be a disaster. And it was. If she had been even close, the judges would've given it to her on personality alone.

Anyway, in addition to getting lucky picking knives, Hosea also got first choice of appetizer ingredients after getting the piece of king cake with the plastic baby inside. This really made me angry. Why would you want two major elements of luck playing such a large role in the finale? In every other episode, there is a quickfire challenge that determines who will get the advantage in the main challenge, yet in the finale they did it entire based on luck of the draw. It was silly. They should have said, "Carla, since you had last choice of sous chefs, you get first choice of appetizers. Followed by Stefan, then Hosea." This, at least, would've evened out the randomness of the advantage gained.

So yeah, Hosea took his advantages and ran with them, and he deserved to win based on his performance last night. But frankly, I think Richard had a hell of a lot to do with it. If he had Casey as his sous chef (as opposed to Richard), and alligator as his appetizer (as opposed to red fish), I don't think he would've won. And if you think about it that way, Hosea doesn't seem like such a good choice. I'm just glad I won't have to hear about how Stefan is his nemesis anymore. Maybe he can finally get over his nauseating inferiority complex.